Books to Help You Raise the Difficult Child

My children were....how do I put it? Not very easy to raise. Each child individually was usually a delight, but 2 or 3 or 4 of them together was very difficult. Words like autism, ADHD and dyslexia entered my vocabulary and I wondered how to cope.

Being at home and choosing to homeschool them, I knew I had to learn how to cope with my not very easy to raise children and I did the only thing I could, I read books and more books and then some more.

My children are older now and great teens and pre teens and this is a list of books that I will forever hold with respect of how I learned to cope with the blessings that God had given me.

Those days of temper tantrums are largely over and I dedicate this list to any parent who is struggling to cope with children who will eventually be wonderful people.

Here is the list of books that got me through the most difficult time of my life.

Raising Your Spirited Child : A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic – Mary Sheedy Kurchinka

This book changed my life. I read it when my boys were 2, 4 and 6. I discovered that not only did they fall into the category of “spirited” but so did I. No wonder there were so many temper tantrums in my house, and not just from the children!

The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children - Ross W., Ph.D. Greene

My child was exploding – big time. From this book I learned to watch what happened just before an explosion and therefore to predict what was about to happen. From that I taught my child to feel those feelings and prevent an explosion and calm down instead of blowing.

Transforming the Difficult Child : The Nurtured Heart Approach - Howard Glasser

This book explains why traditional methods of parenting don’t work with the more difficult child. It helps you the parent turn that energy around for good not bad. It’s another book where you teach the child to understand his feelings and thus control his actions.

The Myth of the ADD Child:50 Ways to Improve Your Child's Behavior and Attention Span Without Drugs, Labels, or Coercion - Thomas Armstrong

Is ADD real or is it a myth? This book suggests it does not exist and that we are drugging our children unnecessarily. Then it goes on to suggest ways to reduce the ADD behavior we see in our children. It deals with diet, environment, social skills, communication, focusing skills and many, many more. I have an ADHD child, and I assure you it’s real. Many of the suggestions in the book did help though.

In Their Own Way : Discovering and Encouraging Your Child's Multiple Intelligences - Thomas Armstrong

We all learn in different ways. Thomas Armstrong lists 8 and explains that children who are labeled “learning disabled” in school just learn in a different way. If only school personnel would read and digest this book.

Raising Boys : Why Boys Are Different-And How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men - Steve Biddulph

The hardest thing about moms raising boys is that they weren’t one in the past. As a mother of 3 boys, I loved this book and bought it for all of my friends when they gave birth to boys. Boys themselves suffer a larger percentage of learning disabilities in a school environment that is run mainly by females. He talks about boys being educationally and emotionally behind girls all the years of their childhood. The book was very easy to read, yet contained great wisdom.

Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments: Practical Solutions for Tantrums, Rage, and Meltdowns - Brenda Smith Myles, Jack Southwick

This book deals with the rage and anger attacks that children with Aspeger’s go through. It talks about the rage cycle and ways in which you can predict the outbursts and therefore how you can prevent them. It teaches you the parent to teach the child to calm himself.

Asperger's syndrome : a guide for parents and professionals - Tony Attwood

Any book on autism by Tony Attwood is wonderful, but this one is my favorite. This book doesn’t just describe Asperger’s, it makes suggestions on how to lessen the upsetting characteristics of the syndrome.

When Love is Not Enough : A Guide to Parenting Children with RAD - Reactive Attachment Disorder – Nancy Thomas

Whether or not your child has RAD, this is a wonderful book of common sense in child training. If your child does a chore badly, he obviously needs more practice, so if you assign a chore and the child underperforms then they get that chore for a week. Teach your child to do A+ chores and they will do A+ schoolwork. I used to keep this book by my bedside and read a page every night. It was a huge help.